Do you have moments where you feel you could do so much more with your life but don’t know where to start? Do you look at all these successful people online and wish you could do something like that? No matter what idea you have, does your inner voice tell you you’re not good enough?
All these are normal and valid emotions which affect most of us as these days we watch so many people put up the best versions of their lives for the world to see. Everything looks so perfect that it makes us feel imperfect.
I will not tell you that you should continue feeling this way, I will not be all cute and sugarcoat things for you. I just don’t want you to be how I was in the past. In my eyes, I was the most incapable person, but right now I have more clarity on my purpose, my career, and am earning more than I thought I would in the next few years.
“Two Core Abilities for Thriving in the New Economy:
1. The ability to quickly master hard things.
2. The ability to produce at an elite level, in terms of both quality and speed.”
― Cal Newport
If this is a crux of what could happen to me by fixing small things, there’s so much that can happen to you. Some of us waste our potential without even knowing that we’re wasting it away because it feels so normal.
So let me break it to you on behaviours that are leaking your energies and wasting your potential, which you can otherwise unleash for better (and bigger) things.
You Don’t Feel Great Doing What You Do, but Don’t Know What Else to Do
Knowing your favourite pizza topping is not self-awareness. Knowing your favourite city and your favourite holiday is also not an element of self-awareness. And if you are aware of your lack of self-awareness, I don’t want you to feel bad about it. Do you get that?
No space for self-pity here because you can and you will get out of this rut.
We live in highly stimulating environments where time spent ‘alone’ is also not really alone. On Monday I was brain drained at work and took a 20 minutes break, only to scroll on one website and then another. The ‘break’ we take during weekends also goes into other brain dead activities such as Netflix or going out. By brain dead, I don’t mean that these activities are bad.
I’m just saying that they aren’t giving you and your inner you time to connect because your senses are busy elsewhere.
Action Plan
Take time off to spend time with yourself. It may be daunting at first, so do it in small chunks. Spend 15 minutes with yourself this weekend, then half an hour. Then maybe 10 minutes a day. You could sit with a pen and paper or just reflect for a few minutes after you read a book. The purpose is to keep your senses free of external stimulations and spend time alone.
According to science, spending time alone can help you increase productivity, creativity, empathy, and level of self-awareness.
You Have Lots of (Valid) Excuses
But valid excuses are still excuses.
The only thing keeping you from what you want is your story about why you can’t have it. — Tony Robbins
I can relate to this so much because all I’ve ever done was make excuses. Excuses about not performing well in school, at university, losing weight — everything.
Your excuses are a way for you to feel safe and good about yourself.
It’s 2021, and the world is (literally) accessible at our fingertips. You have no excuse to not make extra money, start a passion project, or have a successful side-hustle. But it won’t come to you on a platter, you have to put energy into it.
Action Plan
Whatever goals you have, write them down. Condense them into 2–3 major goals. Further, break these goals into monthly and weekly goals.
Using this method helped me overachieve my fitness goals and create a profitable side hustle. It will only require an hour of your time every week but is worth it. More than anything else, it will give you clarity about the direction you want your life to go in.
Tony Robbins’ 10-step method from his book Unlimited Power also helped me with goal setting.
You Give Your Inner Voice Free-Speech
Do you sometimes have this major idea and your inner voice tells you you cannot do it?
Do you make a plan to become fit, but your inner voice tells you you’ll always be unhealthy?
Do you plan to start a passion project, but your inner voice tells you that you’ll never be good enough?
The problem here is not your inner-voice, but that you allow it to affect you. Your inner voice will always be there, it’s present in the most confident people. The only difference is that they don’t let their negative inner voice define them and actively take steps to fight it.
“If you hear a voice within you say ‘you cannot paint,’ then by all means paint, and that voice will be silenced.” — Vincent van Gogh
You are not just more than what people say and think of you, but even what you say and think of yourself.
We all have belief systems — they affect our thoughts, which affects our state, which affects our actions. I had this realisation recently. It’s when I figured that I’m harming myself and all that I am capable of because in my own eyes I was capable of no good. Because of this belief, I wasn’t even trying to better my life because in my head I accepted my reality.
Learning to recognise my inner voice as just a voice and not a reality is what helped the most.
Action Plan
Meditation helps to recognise your thoughts and have better control over your mind instead of the other way round.
As Andy Puddicombe says during his sessions in Headspace, you’re the sky and your thoughts are like clouds. Recognise them and let them pass. Don’t indulge in them.
With frequent meditation, your brain’s ability to recognise and let go of this inner voice becomes better.
Another thing that helped me was surrounding myself with positivity and inspiration. I put on a podcast as I wake up; it plays till I brew my green tea and change to workout. Those 10 minutes of positivity have a tremendous impact to kick-start my day well.
Conclusion
“It is confidence in our bodies, minds, and spirits that allows us to keep looking for new adventures.” — Oprah Winfrey
I wouldn’t have written this for you had I not experienced the power of these 3 things. Combating these three issues changed my life, literally. My relationship with my body and mind has improved. I feel happier and more confident to take my life into my own hands.
Once I believed in myself, I saw others believe in me and opportunities came my way. When you solve the inner universe, the outer universe conspires for your benefit.
And you, it’s not too late. It’s never too late to start. If you have recognised your improvement areas and have decided that you’ll work towards them, your job is already half done.
The 3 things we should actively work towards to unleash our potential are:
Spend time with ourselves to become more self-aware and get clarity.
Make an action plan to accomplish our goals.
Have control over our mind instead of letting the mind take over us.
You can do it, you have it in you to do so. The only limitations you have are the ones you set yourself in your head, which is just a passing cloud.
Have a great week ahead :)