How Financial Independence Changed Me

It's not about money in the South Asian society

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Making good money has been a dream. To be honest with you, I don’t think this dream ends because no matter how much you make, there’s still more you can do. I’m decent with my contentment game though — I think enough is a state of mind.

My dream was to earn $1300 a month before I turned 30 and to be honest, this felt far-fetched with the way my salary was increasing at 5% an annum. That was even lower than the rate of inflation in India that year. And having worked as a recruiter in my first job, I knew I wouldn’t reach this mark.

This is until I started a side hustle for freelance writing in October 2020. It’s right when Tim Denning says that making your first $20 off the internet will blow your mind away. It completely changes your mindset about money. And that’s when I took off, making 3x more than my job and calling it quits.

Life is very different today, that includes travelling to over 5 countries a year and not keeping an account of where I spend my money. In fact, today is a Wednesday, and I’m working for 2 hours in the morning to edit my writing. After this, my mom, grandma, and I are going to a movie, and then I’m going to chill and spend time with family. And attend one call in the evening.

Anyhoo, here’s how being financially independent changed me.

Confidence and a stand in society

I think society has conditioned South Asian women to be so submissive that we cannot say no. The generation before us only wanted to please everyone and couldn’t stand up for themselves because of dependency. If they left, there was nowhere to go.

Now, we see more divorces. And yes, that's hurtful, but that means more of us saying to not abuse, violence, and anything one doesn’t want to make peace with.

For me, it just feels empowering to be able to buy my stuff and pay for myself. And I’m overly grateful to have a partner who totally hypes me up on that!

Paying for convenience

I outsource plenty of things, one of them being PowerPoint presentations. The thing is, in my last job, I made way too many presentations that I disliked. I now just scribble on my iPad and have someone else do this for me.

I also pay for having my house deep cleaned, ordering groceries, going to a salon monthly for my newly-coloured hair, and anything I want.

What I don’t pay for are things for the heck of it — no beauty treatments or nails, random burning money, or being spoilt. I can’t be somebody I’m not just because I can.

Optimise for time

Two weeks ago, my mum was on the way to our family dentist, who is 1.5 hours away. I went to a different one. Mom later asked me how much my procedure cost and told me I’d paid 40% more than required because the clinic has been getting really expensive for the past few months.

But when we discussed that I’d rather go 20 minutes away than spend 3.5 hours in the car and struggle to find parking in that area. It made sense to take an hour for this in my day instead of 5 hours.

I also don’t take any calls for this reason. No hangout meetings.

Spend based on ROI

If I know something will help me make money, I will buy it. This means books, courses, coaching — whatever it takes.

I know most people aren’t willing to spend a buck.

This mindset changed when I spent my first $300 on a course, even though my in-hand salary was slightly over $600. It was a big amount for me.

But it made me $3000 in 6 months!

Spending money in the right places gives you money back.

Buy less things

Earlier, I used to shop every time there was a sale. Now, every time I shop I ask myself,

Do I really need it or am I just getting it because it’s pretty? Will I get to wear it?

I think with time, I prefer buying what I know I will wear often instead of buying for the heck of wearing it one-off for an Instagram story. This is easier when, like me, one doesn’t even use Instagram!

I also prefer buying higher-quality stuff that will last me years. But again, I rarely spend on clothes and only buy them during sales.

Overall, I think I’ve become a lot more frugal and don’t buy things. I think you are tempted to want to buy them when you cannot buy them. Now it doesn’t matter.

Use money on experiences

My biggest expenditure is travelling. And no, I don’t even follow the must-go places that are recommended on Trip Advisor. My husband and I just like to go somewhere and do our thing — walk a lot to discover a place on foot, eat good food, visit local bars, and so on.

Another experience I enjoy is eating out!

I mean, I was a fat kid growing up, so food is a major part of my life. It makes me happy and I indulge in it when sad (I am working on my emotional eating now, though).

I like being able to eat wherever and whenever without looking at the day of the week (because my calendar is usually empty) and without looking at the prices.

The catch here is that I have a full-time nutritionist so I don’t eat out over once a week! I’m really strict with my diet.

IDGAF attitude

For some reason, I’m genuinely so happy and content that I don’t care about what others think. Some people discredit my entire work and say it’s because I’m a woman (as if that has anything to do with writing) or I’m rich (lol). I don’t blame anyone, I’ve realised that:

• we tend to project our insecurities on others

• insecure people feel better by putting down others

I don’t care if someone thinks I’m arrogant not to hang out on a Zoom call with them where they want my free advice. I treat my time like it is finite because it is. It's just how I function.

“Time isn’t a commodity, something you pass around like a cake. Time is the substance of life. When anyone asks you to give your time, they’re really asking for a chunk of your life. — Antoinette Bosco”

Don’t feel the need to show off

Earlier, I wanted to show if I’ve got something expensive. I rarely did, but I’d want the logo to be visible because if I’ve spent so much, I want others to see it!

Now, I don’t feel the need for validation. To get photos clicked and upload them or make others want to notice me. My dream is to be wealthy and not loud and rich. I love mental peace.

Finally

I think financial independence for South Asian women is less about money; it’s more about high self-worth and confidence. Our society needs more financially independent women so centuries-old conservative norms aren’t forced upon them.

And even logically, with the current economy, we cannot depend on

• one source of income

• single-earner household

We need to break the cycle where we do anything and everything to nurture just because we’re being provided for. Nurturing and love should come out of… love, not as an expectation.

And hey, supporting your partner is always more fun than making them pull the load and/or buy your own Gucci!

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See you in 15 days.

Love,

N