Dear reader,
The third cohort of my course Summit 21 ended today. I can’t believe three cohorts are already finished for 2023, and we just have one more to go.
Time’s really flying.
And I love it, but I also don’t enjoy the speed.
I want to seize even more, and more.
But that’s life, isn’t it?
This newsletter is a rather personal one. I don’t know if you’ll like it. If you’ll think I’m a sissy or a weirdo. I also don’t care about that because in my head we’re all weird in our own ways and that’s what makes us unique.
Our weird unique streak :)
So, let’s start?
I’ve had a lot of time to myself in the last few days and noted down a few improvements I want to make in me, for me.
They’re not goals for this month or year or till before I turn 28.
They’re all a process that will take a journey of their own. But being aware and intentional about working towards them is the first step.
Emotional Strength
You can make me cry in a second.
I’m not embarrassed to say that, nor am I sad about it.
But I want to stop breaking down so easily. I don’t want anything or anyone to have so much control over me that they can break me down.
On one hand, I feel it's only human to feel connected and emotionally invested in our loved ones. I think it's a problem to not be emotional when something happens because it means you weren’t invested in the first place.
I want to work on becoming stronger.
As I’m ‘adulting’ more, I’m realising that bad things happen and they don’t change with you crying. You need to be stronger to deal with them. It’s okay to feel things, but it’s also important to not be this shaken so often.
Less Overwhelm
I got married six months ago.
There’s been a change in my routine because now life isn’t just about me, and I love that. Sometimes, it’s been overwhelming to manage my time and tasks.
I’ve never taken care of the house because in India we live with our families. I’m also the only child, so I was well-pampered. I don’t cook and until a month ago I didn’t even know what's in our kitchen and where.
I was overwhelmed taking responsibilities I never had.
Now, I think this is only the beginning. With work growing, there are more responsibilities on that front. Maybe someday I’ll have a family, and there will be even more on my platter.
Being overwhelmed certainly isn’t the way to handle it.
Asking For Help
I nervously hit up one of the biggest creators on the internet to ask a question. And they responded.
Today, I ask them about my doubts frequently.
Can I be honest with you? A little voice in my head still creeps in and tells me I should stop disturbing them with my meaningless questions and that asking for help means I’m weak.
But it’s only me who thinks that way.
This is a typical example of a negative inner voice.
Asking for help doesn’t make you weak. Suffering alone when we’re on a planet full of humans, who normalised that?
And there’s a thin line between those who are genuine and have put in the work and others. Sometimes people ask me for help with generic questions like “How to become a freelancer?” and I know they haven’t self-studied.
But I make it a point to reply to the specific ones because I know they’re trying their best and are working hard.
Less Processed Foods
I’ve been on an Ayurvedic diet plan for three days now to work towards this. It isn’t strictly Ayurvedic as I eat meat, but
throughout the day I’m consuming drinks with superfoods like amla and aloe vera
I’m consuming more natural food
my morning has three glasses of different superfood/herb-infused water which feels better than coffee
I’m eating new recipes of such local and yummy food
I started this because I want a change in my eating habits.
The problem is that I consume frozen food on some evenings for dinner and it isn’t something that I’m proud of. Coming from the land of all things natural and Ayurveda and knowing so much about it, I know this is something that I can easily work on.
Since it’s summer and I live in a tropical country, we have the yummiest fruits that have come in. It’s such a fun time to just not have my eyes busy and just be with myself and eat those fruits. They make me feel happy and energetic.
But at a time when processed foods have become so easy, I want to work on curbing my frequent intake first and then move to reducing packaged foods.
Real Self Love
I once read somewhere that it's easy to love your body when you’re already thin. Now, I relate to it.
I gained a few kilos last month because of being over-stressed and sleeping less, and it took a toll on me mentally. I was so, so sad. I wasn’t criticising my body or my fat as I used to when I was 50 lbs heavier because I know how much mental chatter matters, but I was unhappy.
Being unhappy doesn’t help, making changes does.
Maybe this happened so I can learn how I have so much more to improve in my journey of self-love. And I’m doing that right now with my yoga and pilates, where I tune into my body and feel my capability at every breath.
Permission to Rest + Be Kind
I’m kind to myself and I don’t care if the world thinks I’m too soft for it.
I overcame my burnout almost a year ago and it made so much of a difference to my mental health.
I don’t know how can I extend emotions of love, kindness, and empathy to others if I first can’t give it to myself.
How can you fill others’ cups if your own cup is empty?
This is like getting into relationships to fill your void, not because there’s a greater meaning to it. The void still stays, though. Because nobody else can fill it for you.
I want to take more time off and rest more.
I want to be able to take time off without justifying it to myself.
If you can resonate with any of this, I’d love to hear your experience and what helped you.
I’ll see you next week.
Love,
N
I can really connect with the point of asking for help.
Usually I tend to grasp things in my own hand, due to that I have a better feeling of control and it makes me feel more secure.
I think a way to deal with that is to be aware about these "bad" behaviors and take the time to step back and assess the situation.
Often, I feel overwhelmed too, especially nowadays since I need to juggle my MBA with this obsession of mine of learning an instrument on the side and keeping fit. Somehow, I keep falling short and remain overwhelmed. But things take time, and your weeklies help to cope with that reality Niharikaa!