This is Something I've Never Spoken About Before

On relationships.

Mar 19, 2022

Hi friend,

I’m sitting right now with my morning coffee on a Saturday morning. I’ve already done my chanting and meditation but physiotherapy and yoga are left.

Today I want to talk to you about something I haven’t spoken about before - relationships.

I feel a lot of you would benefit from this and enjoy it.

And to our 69 new subscribers who subscribed last week (thanks to yet another viral LinkedIn post, will link in the end) - this is not my usual style.

In fact, my personal life is so protected that even on my very private Instagram I don’t want anybody to know anything about me haha.

Anyway, let’s dig right in.

Why Am I Suddenly Talking About This

I was hanging out with my decade-old friend Abhishek Kakkar yesterday evening where we spoke about relationships because he’s currently reading How to Not Die Alone which is suggested by our favourite YouTuber, Ali Abdaal.

We discussed relationships today in the swipe-easy society, how to find the one, the issues people experience, etc. And we spoke about the concept which I’ll tell you about in a moment.

A little personal story time before that.

You know, when I met him in August’21 as well when I told him about dating Jai, my now fiance. For the first time, I said the words “I feel we’ll get engaged” - something I’d never said about anybody. Something I didn’t even think I’d say at 25.

I met two more people.

I met Urvashi within 12 days of just meeting Jai and I met my best friend Mallika and her sister, Sahiba, 3 weeks in.

All of them thought I’m crazy to feel this way, and obviously wanted to protect me out of love.

But I knew in my heart it was this human even in such less time.

And I know you will call me crazy for it, but I feel I manifested this.

Manifesting Your Partner

When 2021 started, I did two things.

Wrote down my needs: in relationships, spiritually, health-wise, and at work.
Wrote down what I want for the year ahead: under brackets of career, relationships, health, and personal development.

The first part helped me get closer to myself. I realised if these few things I wrote weren’t met, I will be dissatisfied.

Do it, and do it shamelessly because you do the first exercise for heightened self-awareness.

And the second part, be ambitious.

I wrote down things under work like

wanting to be self-employed
having 1-2 clients who respect me and pay me well
working for 3-4h a day
earning XYZ more than corporate salary

All of this happened. In fact, more than this transpired.

And self-employment wasn’t easy for me because my family isn’t into business or something, everybody has normal jobs and they felt thats the way to be.

Similarly, I wrote about what I want in my partner.

To Attract, Become

Now the work that I desired was unconventional. Nobody is told to work 4h a day, lol.

But I knew its what I want, and it should be far better paid than my 8h/day job.

Unrealistic, I know. But I strongly believed its doable.

I wrote down goals on how to get there (side hustled until I could dive into it full-time) and achieved it.

But with relationships, I had to be a different person.

If you want somebody who’s secure, you have to be secure too. If you want somebody who’s ambitious, you have to be that way too.

Not same to same, but enough to vibe.

In a relationship where one person is insecure or constantly doubting the other person, will their partner really be happy?

A relationship where one person keeps themselves busy and the other one is wiling away their life without a purpose to follow, will they really fit well?

A relationship where one person is intelligent and wants to be intellectually stimulated but the other one isn’t, what will they talk about?

The traits I wanted in another person, I had to be that way.

Because only a whole person attracts a whole individual, and a broken person attracts…well.

What Happened Next?

Jai turned out to be the first person I’d met in real life who had solo travelled across the world, even more than I did. Didn’t enjoy social media like me, didn’t enjoy putting his life up on display.

Has similar life goals as I do, and I think I’ll stop it here because he’s reading this and wouldn’t want so many details up for thousands to read.

So while we’re very different people (pork vs chicken, alcohol vs tea, spicy food vs bland food, pilot vs writer, waking up at 11 am vs 7 am); we’re very similar in our ideologies (good food, coffee, travelling, talking, laid back about life).

I don’t think words do justice to what I’m saying.

But all I’m saying is, when you know, you know.

And to be there, fix parts of you.

And to do that, understand parts of you.

Does that make sense? I’ll end this here.

What I Wrote This Week

FYI, I crossed 300 published articles on Medium this week! (If anybody’s interested in writing kickass Medium articles, you can grab my Medium Guide here).

Here are some articles you might enjoy

Oh, and here’s that viral LinkedIn post with 942k views so far (it’s an excerpt from my travels). I’m going to publish part 2/5 after this newsletter, so if you enjoyed it, hop on to my profile and check out the second part.

That’s all for now folks. I will see you next weekend :)

Let me know how you found this issue, I was slightly nervous about this.

Love,

PS: If you’d want to dig deeper into what I wrote about, just read The Secret or You Can Heal Your Life - they talk about similar ideologies.

If you’re interested to elevate your life with a side hustle and learn how can you make money with it, grab my FREE side hustlers’ checklist.

Side Hustlers' Checklist